Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Fear Not

The Secret Service agents escorted an old Asian man wearing a baggy seersucker suit into the conference room. The President shook the old man's hand and then announced to his Cabinet. "Professor Cha has been kind enough to come down from Harvard to share what astrophysicists understand about the present situation. You've all seen the wild speculations in the news. Professor Cha told me that he can provide some words of assurance."

"Thank you for inviting me, Mr. President," the professor said in a soft voice. He gave a smile and a stiff bow – little more than a hunch of the shoulders – to each of the Cabinet members. "I cannot speak for all astrophysicists. There is much debate and our grasp of the detailed physics is incomplete. But I will give you the current majority opinion. In doing so, I can address certain prevalent fears." He adopted a lecturing posture with clasped hands and elevated chin. "There is a faint glow in the constellation Orion, right above the stars that are said to represent Orion's belt. The glow is energy in the visible spectrum produced by a quantum fluctuation. I assume that you familiar with the quantum fluctuation popularly known as the Big Bang?"

The President laughed and said, "Are you telling us that we have a new Big Bang on our hands?"

The professor appeared flustered. "No, sir. I am not saying that. This local quantum fluctuation is no more than a pilot light in comparison. It appeared in a formerly empty region of space one half light-year from us. The glow will appear to spread and brighten with time. In a month you will be able to read a newspaper by its light at midnight. Greater intensities will follow."

The Secretary of Homeland Security asked, "This sounds like a concern. Professor Cha, what preparations would you advise?"

"During the next several weeks people will naturally begin wearing hats and sunglasses. I would not advise governmental preparations." The professor took up his lecturing posture again. "The quantum fluctuation is ejecting a wave of charged plasma at a velocity of two thirds the speed of light."

The President interrupted, "You didn't mention anything about plasma when we spoke yesterday. So, let's see, you are saying that this plasma will reach us in nine months. Am I figuring correctly?"

"Yes, Mr. President."

The Cabinet members looked at each other. The Secretary of the Interior said, "What happens then? Something like the Northern Lights?"

The professor hesitated. "An excellent question. My opinion is that the effect of the charged plasma will be similar in kind to Northern Lights but different in scale. I mentioned earlier that I hoped to address some fears. Let me try to do so now. We should not fear nuclear proliferation nor problems with funding Medicare. Depletion of fossil fuels does not matter. Global warming, at least the kind predicted by former Vice President Al Gore, should no longer be a concern."

The Secretary of State interjected, "You have a weakness for theatrics, Professor. Please speak plainly."

The professor reached inside his suit coat, causing heightened vigilance on the part of the Secret Service agents. He brought out a small black Bible and leafed through it to the end.

"Do you intend to give us a sermon, Professor?" said the Secretary of State. A few of the Cabinet members chuckled.

"Madam Secretary, I will read you something that describes our situation as plainly as I know how. Some consider what I am about to read as foolishness; others consider it extravagant metaphor. Soon it will be understood as an accurate scientific description of how the plasma shock wave will affect the Earth."

He read slowly and carefully: "The sky receded like a scroll, rolling up, and every mountain and island was removed from its place."