The Anti-Gazebo

Walking downtown last week, I saw the small pavilion (above) that I call the "anti-gazebo". This description is not to be understood in the nuclear sense: I'm not saying that if a gazebo and an anti-gazebo were brought into close proximity, they would annihilate each other, releasing a blast of energy. Rather, an anti-gazebo is a structure that excludes the normal function and benefit of a gazebo, which is to provide shade, shelter, and a place to rest while viewing the surrounding scenery.

The anti-gazebo shown above is specifically designed to make people avoid standing under it. The anti-gazebo has a ledge that rings the inside of the dome, providing a perfect place for pigeons to roost. In fact, the word has apparently gotten out to the pigeon community, and a dozen pigeons can be found roosting inside the anti-gazebo at any given time. According to established pigeon custom, a pigeon is permitted to release droppings at will, without bothering itself about the target area. Consequently, the floor of the anti-gazebo is subject to a constant drizzle of guano.

I put myself at risk of being befouled while investigating the construction of the anti-gazebo. I can only hope that my blog readership appreciates the lengths to which I will go to provide journalistic thoroughness.