I attended yet another retirement party this evening. I stopped by a local restaurant to sample some buffet food (including jalapeno poppers with a bite that bordered on the radioactive) and to join my fellow employees in wishing a colleague a bonny departure from the company.
The occasion didn't have the gravity of an old-time retirement sendoff, which traditionally was an important milestone on the way to senescence and decline. The retiree, a relative youth of my own age, was taking early retirement to cash in on a lucrative pension lump sum (i.e., pension money distributed in the form of a single present-value amount rather than as a monthly annuity) before hopping back into the workforce as a consultant. Still, it was fitting to honor his years of service.
At my company, about two dozen workers my age have yanked the retirement ripcord during the past two months. This exodus was provoked by a lump sum calculation modification that goes into effect on January 1st and drops the payoff by about 15%. My own financial circumstances make early retirement unappetizing, so I hope to continue in my current job for another decade or so. I have run the numbers a hundred times and am convinced that is the best plan for me. All the same, when I see all these people my age leaving the company, I feel a bit like a student being held back to repeat a grade. The urge to conform with the behavior of one's age group is very powerful.
I will have to get used to being a corporate Methuselah.
