I went shopping at the nearby grocery store and filled my shopping basket with a gallon of skim milk and three packages of marked down kosher wieners. With such a small number of items, I decided to use one of the self service checkout stations. I ran my customer discount card over the laser scanner and thought I heard the automated greeting say, "Welcome, valiant customer." This was a fine compliment. It made me lift my head and stand tall. I thought of the noble Mr. Valiant-For-Truth in Pilgrim's Progress, who bravely fought the highwaymen Wild-head, Inconsiderate, and Pragmatic.
I was deflated when I remembered that the automated greeting was actually the humdrum message: "Welcome, valued customer."