I found some good
advice about growing old gracefully in the second section of a Renaissance book called The Book of
the Courtier by Baldesar Castiglione (1478 – 1529), Count of Novillara. As I aspire to a "green and lively old
age," I shall try to profit from its wisdom.
Castiglione's book
is composed of a series of conversations concerning what is required of a courtier. In the excerpt I have given
below, the speakers are Juliano de Medici (My Lord Magnifico), Messer
Federico, and Lord Morello. Federico
takes the position that a true courtier must be a man in his mature middle years. Morello disagrees.
Here Federico begins to develop his argument. He asserts that a courtier must be skilled in the musical arts, but music making by
old men is "unseemly and unlovely."
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Federico said,
"But discretion must needs be the spice of everything, for it would be
quite impossible to foresee all the cases that occur; and if the Courtier
rightly understands himself, he will adapt himself to the occasion and will
perceive when the minds of his hearers are disposed to listen and when
not. He will take his own age into
account: for it is indeed unseemly and unlovely in the extreme to see a man of
any quality old, hoary and toothless, full of wrinkles playing on a viol and
singing in the midst of a company of ladies, even though he be a passable
performer. And the reason of this is that
in singing the words are usually amourous, and love is a ridiculous thing in
old men, albeit it is sometimes pleased among its other miracles to kindle
frozen hearts in spite of years."
Then the Magnifico
replied: "Do not deprive old men of this pleasure, messer Federico; for in
my time I have known old men who had right perfect voices and hands very
dexterous upon their instruments, far more than some young men."
"I do not
wish," said messer Federico, " to deprive old men of this pleasure,
but I do wish to deprive you and these ladies of the pleasure of laughing at
such folly. And if old men wish to sing
to the viol, let them do so in secret and only to drive from their minds those
painful thoughts and grievous troubles with which our life is filled, and to
taste that rapture which I believe Pythagoras and Socrates found in music. And even although they practise it not, by somewhat accustoming their
minds to it they will enjoy it far more when they hear it than a man who knows
nothing of it. For just as the arms of a
smith, who is weak in his other members, become stronger by exercise than those
of another man who is more robust but unaccustomed to use his arms, in like
manner ears practised in harmony will perceive it better and more speedily and will
appreciate it with far greater pleasure, than others, however good and sharp
they be, that are not versed in the varieties of musical consonance; because
these modulations do not penetrate ears unused to hearing them, but pass aside
without leaving any savour of themselves; albeit even the beasts have some
enjoyment in melody.
"This then is
the pleasure it is fitting old men should take in music. I say the like of
dancing, for in truth we ought to give up these exercises before our age forces
us to give them up against our will."
Here my lord Morello
replied with a little heat: "So it is better to exclude all old men, and
to say that only young men have a right to be called Courtiers."
Then messer Federico
laughed, and said: "You see, my lord Morello, that they who like these
things strive to seem young when they are not, and hence they dye their hair
and shave twice a week. And this is
because nature silently tells them that such things are proper only to the young."
All the ladies
laughed, for each one of them felt that these words fitted my lord Morello; and
he seemed rather stung by them. Messer
Federico soon continued: "But there are many other ways of entertaining
ladies that are proper to old men."
"What are
they?" said my lord Morello. "Telling stories?"
"That is
one," replied messer Federico.
"But as you know, every age brings, its own thoughts with it, and
has some peculiar virtue and some peculiar vice. Thus, while old men are ordinarily more prudent
than young men, more continent and wiser, so too they are more garrulous,
miserly, querulous and timid; they are always scolding about the house, harsh
to their children, and wish everyone to follow their way. And on the contrary young men are spirited,
generous, frank, but prone to quarrel, voluble, loving and hating in an
instant, eager in all their pleasures, unfriendly to him who counsels well.
"But of all
ages, that of manhood is the most temperate, because it has left the faults of
youth behind and has not yet reached those of old age. Being placed then at the two extremes, young
and old must needs learn from reason how to correct the faults that nature
implants in them. Thus, old men ought to
guard against much self-praise and the other evil habits that we have said are
peculiar to them, and to use that prudence and knowledge which they have gained
from long experience, and to be like oracles consulted of all men; and in
telling what they know, they ought to have the grace to speak to the point and
temper the gravity of their years with a certain mild and sportive humour. In this way they will be good Courtiers,
enjoy their intercourse with men and with ladies, and be always welcome,
without singing or dancing; and when need arises they will display their worth
in affairs of importance.
"Let young men
use this same care and judgment, not indeed in copying old men's ways, for that
which befits the one would not at all befit the other, and we are wont to say
that overwisdom is a bad sign in the young, but in correcting their own natural
faults. Hence I greatly like to see a
youth, and especially when handling weapons, who has a touch of the grave and
taciturn; who is master of himself, without those restless manners which are
often seen at that age; because such youths seem to have a certain something in
them above the rest. Moreover this
quietness of manner has in it a kind of impressive boldness, because it seems
the result not of anger but of judgment, and governed more by reason than by passion. This is nearly always found in all men of
high courage, and we see it also among those brute animals that have more
nobility and strength than their fellows,as in the lion and the eagle.
"Nor is this
strange; for an impetuous and sudden movement, which without words or other
signs of wrath abruptly bursts with all its force at once from the quiet that
is its contrary, as it were like the discharge of a cannon, is far more violent
and furious than that which increases by degrees and grows hotter little by
little. Therefore they who talk much and
move about and cannot stand still, when they have an enterprise on foot, seem
thus to exhaust their powers; and as our friend messer Pietro Monte well says,
they act like boys who sing from fear when they walk at night, as if to keep up
their courage by their singing.
"Again, just as
calm and thoughtful youthfulness is very praiseworthy in a young man, because
the levity which is the fault peculiar to his age seems to be tempered and
corrected, so in an old man a green and lively old age is to be highly esteemed,
because his stoutness of heart seems to be so great as to warm and strengthen
his feeble and chill years, and to keep him in that middle state which is the
best part of our life."
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